I have tried many methods over the years to either keep the kitchen free of toxic waste or, rather ambitiously, encourage those of the Y chromosome persuasion to clean up after themselves. These include:-
- Being the designated washer upperer (I do find it relaxing), until I realised it just made everyone take it for granted I would do it When I went a leave I came back to ewwwww!
- I monitored the dates of the milk to ensure we didn't get to the point neglected bottle became solid
- Requestimg a roster be set up to get the grubs to clean up there own crap. This worked until peak season arrived and the dudes became tooooo busy to do something as complex as wash a spoon!
- Putting up helpful reminder signs asking everyone to wash up their crap, dry their crap and, most importantly, put their goddamn crap away in the fucking cupboards and drawers provided.
- Throwing away anything left around the sink and the containers in the fridge which looked to be science experiment attempting to create new, furrry, stinky life.
- I have become unhinged and screeched at people who didn't wipe up spills, left dirty plates in the sink or put the paper towel rolls in the dispenser flap to the back! Bloody Neanderthals!
Then suddenly this week it happened. I stop giving a toss. I realised as I have my own plate cup and utensils I am safe from death due to using the potentially botulism ridden ones in the kitchen. I have been using a bar fridge, that lives in my office, to store my stuff for the last two years (for convenience as I sometimes often don't stop for lunch) so I don't have to see, or worse smell, what is in the communal fridge.
So I went around the kitchen and removed every single helpful sign. For the last week when I go into the kitchen to wash up my stuff, if there is crap in my way I simply move it aside, (not huffily, absolutely calmly) finish my washing and drying and put the crap back where it was.
You know what? I am so chilled it is unbelievable. I have spent so much time being pissed off and chucking wobblies that achieved nothing. AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? The guys are actually cleaning up after themselves a bit more. I said nothing about my new outlook but they can't have avoided noticing the missing signs and me calmly floating around, so maybe the new atmosphere is having some magical affect.
Now I don't expect any miracles, I don't have any expectations at all around how neat the kitchen will remain, what I do want is to be able to sustain my new outlook and, as I am going to be in travelling for work shortly, the big test is coming. I have high hopes that I can. I just might take a couple of really deep breaths.
