I saw an exchange on a TV show last night between two women and in my opinion one of the women came off as being a far better human being than the other. While I could see the point one of the women was making, her way of expressing it and a subsequent comment she made to the other woman made me start to dislike her when in the past I liked her and, almost thoughtlessly, agreed with all she said.
Who the women were and what the exchange was about is irrelevant to this Blog, what is of interest to me is that I felt oddly guilty for "taking the side" of the woman I did.
Now I do not know either of these women personally and have no way of knowing what type of people they are. What made me feel guilty was their looks or at least their appearances. To put it bluntly, one was stereotypically attractive, blonde, slim, pretty and (god forbid) kind of nice. The other, overweight, unconventional in looks and (let's be blunt) really mouthy and brash. And yes I felt guilty for disliking the less attractive one even though I felt her to be in the wrong.
How stupid is that!
Is this some previously unidentified reverse prejudice on my part? The good-looking blonde must be by default a dumb bimbo or my world goes slightly askew? The less attractive one must, also by default, have the market cornered on brains or the world is unfair?
I have always thought myself, and tried to be, a person who does not make judgements based on appearances, yet here I was second guessing my reaction based on just that. To make assumption based on appearances, in my opinion, shows a bit of a vacuous thinking, yet there I am.
It is easy to fall into the trap of thinking that your thinking is beyond reproach and discriminative thoughts are for the less evolved. I guess a little slap in the face is good for us all occasionally, it kick-starts the brain to look a little more objectively at the rest of the population.
Consider me chastised.
Saturday 15 November 2014
Tuesday 11 November 2014
Mad dogs and cyclists
I've been a very absent blogger for a while now, largely due to having two kids under three. Well that's possibly a little misleading. They are in fact fur-kids but they still do seem to cause me to spend less time on-line than I previously did.
So what has made me take to the keyboard again? Well a post that is largely to do with said hairy kids of course.
My daily dog walks have meant I met lots of new people and have made new friends, all of whom have dogs that, like me, they are just a little obsessed with. This means opinions on all things dog related are expressed freely.
One of my dogs is now two the other is 11 months and a complete boof! With limited time to give both the exercise they need some days, I have taken to cycling while he trots or walks beside me. This has been the catalyst for a conversation that has somewhat pissed me off and remind some people just seem to want to live in a little glass bubble.
When I decided on riding with one of my one dogs and walking the other (I can't always walk them together for reasons irrelevant to this rant) I worked out teaching the younger dog was more sensible as he is still learning whereas the older dog is already really good at heel. I started slow, was very cautious, and worked out how best to cope if things go slightly wrong. The result after just over a month is 99% of the time we are completely calm and have absolutely no issues.
The 1% is when we meet his two best dog friends. We can easily ride past all others, these two, no way. He just really wants to get to them and does lose the plot a little, but I am still in control and if need be I can release the leash and he just runs to them and romps. At this point it can get a bit messy as I have to push the bike off the bike path, put it on the stand and either lead him to his friends or retrieve him if necessary. It can look chaotic, but it's not and is very little different to what happens when we meet them while walking.
My pissed off moment came when walking my older dog. I ran into one of the best doggy friends and his human. I mentioned that a couple of days previously I was nearly knocked over, while walking my older dog, by another walkers dog who became over enthusiastic and wrapped it's lead around my legs. I should her the welt the lead made and laughed about the hazards of walking dogs.
Well that gave her the perfect opportunity to launch into the "everyone is always so worried when we see you riding with dog 2". She made it sound as if the entire dog walking community believes I am dicing with death and sooner or later we will come to grief!
Um yeah, sure thing.
What she really meant was that she and the other best doggy friends owner are a couple of old women (despite one being male) and just don't get that it's possible to assess a risk, work out how to do it safely and have lot of fun by doing this.
I'm not a thrill seeker. I do however want to enjoy life and as much as I enjoy walking, I also like to ride and there is not enough time in my day to fit everything in. If I can multi-task that's what I'll do
Sure I've broken a couple of nails, bled a bit and gained some bruises, but we are always safe and despite how it may look I am watching out for hazards constantly and always have enough control to stop and avoid real problems. One day I may have a fall, anything is possible, that's life. In the meantime we are having heaps of fun dog 2 is safer than me as he isn't on the bike and as a bonus I'm getting some cracking thigh muscles :-)
So what has made me take to the keyboard again? Well a post that is largely to do with said hairy kids of course.
My daily dog walks have meant I met lots of new people and have made new friends, all of whom have dogs that, like me, they are just a little obsessed with. This means opinions on all things dog related are expressed freely.
One of my dogs is now two the other is 11 months and a complete boof! With limited time to give both the exercise they need some days, I have taken to cycling while he trots or walks beside me. This has been the catalyst for a conversation that has somewhat pissed me off and remind some people just seem to want to live in a little glass bubble.
When I decided on riding with one of my one dogs and walking the other (I can't always walk them together for reasons irrelevant to this rant) I worked out teaching the younger dog was more sensible as he is still learning whereas the older dog is already really good at heel. I started slow, was very cautious, and worked out how best to cope if things go slightly wrong. The result after just over a month is 99% of the time we are completely calm and have absolutely no issues.
The 1% is when we meet his two best dog friends. We can easily ride past all others, these two, no way. He just really wants to get to them and does lose the plot a little, but I am still in control and if need be I can release the leash and he just runs to them and romps. At this point it can get a bit messy as I have to push the bike off the bike path, put it on the stand and either lead him to his friends or retrieve him if necessary. It can look chaotic, but it's not and is very little different to what happens when we meet them while walking.
My pissed off moment came when walking my older dog. I ran into one of the best doggy friends and his human. I mentioned that a couple of days previously I was nearly knocked over, while walking my older dog, by another walkers dog who became over enthusiastic and wrapped it's lead around my legs. I should her the welt the lead made and laughed about the hazards of walking dogs.
Well that gave her the perfect opportunity to launch into the "everyone is always so worried when we see you riding with dog 2". She made it sound as if the entire dog walking community believes I am dicing with death and sooner or later we will come to grief!
Um yeah, sure thing.
What she really meant was that she and the other best doggy friends owner are a couple of old women (despite one being male) and just don't get that it's possible to assess a risk, work out how to do it safely and have lot of fun by doing this.
I'm not a thrill seeker. I do however want to enjoy life and as much as I enjoy walking, I also like to ride and there is not enough time in my day to fit everything in. If I can multi-task that's what I'll do
Sure I've broken a couple of nails, bled a bit and gained some bruises, but we are always safe and despite how it may look I am watching out for hazards constantly and always have enough control to stop and avoid real problems. One day I may have a fall, anything is possible, that's life. In the meantime we are having heaps of fun dog 2 is safer than me as he isn't on the bike and as a bonus I'm getting some cracking thigh muscles :-)
Saturday 22 March 2014
Framed
I've been on holidays for the past two weeks, well holiday may be the wrong term as I have been working my bum off doing some landscaping to our yard. Looks great but I have had very little down time.
Yesterday (Friday) I got to do some me stuff. Nothing over the top, just not shovelling for a change.
Among other things I did just for ME, I got new glasses. I knew I needed glasses because my arms are no longer long enough, if you need glasses you know what I mean. I was happy with the frames for my prescription sunglasses, but my general glasses frames are just kind of blah, so I took the opportunity to get new ones. I have been using glasses for about 10 years and have finally learned my lesson. Those really cool glasses that are in fashion at whatever time I have got new frames, do not suit me.......ever!
You go in and look at all the frames see the photographs of models wearing them and think "they look fantastic, if I buy them I'll look gorgeous". I never do. I have had friends that buy the latest frames and they look elegant, modern, beautiful, all good things. I have followed their lead and bought something in the same vein and I look like the before photo in a makeover show. I've tried the minimalist look, I looked minimal. I've tried bold colours, I looked like a nerd wearing oversized specs. The little rectangular ones that have been so trendy for a while (showing my age there) I looked like I was squinty!
I finally realised that everyone else who looks gorgeous in those glasses look that way because they ARE gorgeous and I'm ........... well, not. This time I turned up twenty minutes early for my eye test and tried on frame after frame. Every time I found something that looked good I carried around with me until I found something that looked better. Finally I had the winner. I had long thought that as I have silver hair (actually it's mostly grey, but silver sounds better) I should go for glasses that were colourful or stood out in some way. I was wrong it seems. My new frames are silver and whites with little diamantes on the arms. They are very understated, but they pick up the white bits in my hair so it looks silver rather than grey. I think they look fantastic.
I have to wait two weeks until I pick them up, but I am confident that this time I won't be regretting my choice within a week. My dream is that other people will see them and think "she looks fabulous" and they will go out buy them and will not look anywhere near as fab as I do.
Is that petty? :-)
Yesterday (Friday) I got to do some me stuff. Nothing over the top, just not shovelling for a change.
Among other things I did just for ME, I got new glasses. I knew I needed glasses because my arms are no longer long enough, if you need glasses you know what I mean. I was happy with the frames for my prescription sunglasses, but my general glasses frames are just kind of blah, so I took the opportunity to get new ones. I have been using glasses for about 10 years and have finally learned my lesson. Those really cool glasses that are in fashion at whatever time I have got new frames, do not suit me.......ever!
You go in and look at all the frames see the photographs of models wearing them and think "they look fantastic, if I buy them I'll look gorgeous". I never do. I have had friends that buy the latest frames and they look elegant, modern, beautiful, all good things. I have followed their lead and bought something in the same vein and I look like the before photo in a makeover show. I've tried the minimalist look, I looked minimal. I've tried bold colours, I looked like a nerd wearing oversized specs. The little rectangular ones that have been so trendy for a while (showing my age there) I looked like I was squinty!
I finally realised that everyone else who looks gorgeous in those glasses look that way because they ARE gorgeous and I'm ........... well, not. This time I turned up twenty minutes early for my eye test and tried on frame after frame. Every time I found something that looked good I carried around with me until I found something that looked better. Finally I had the winner. I had long thought that as I have silver hair (actually it's mostly grey, but silver sounds better) I should go for glasses that were colourful or stood out in some way. I was wrong it seems. My new frames are silver and whites with little diamantes on the arms. They are very understated, but they pick up the white bits in my hair so it looks silver rather than grey. I think they look fantastic.
I have to wait two weeks until I pick them up, but I am confident that this time I won't be regretting my choice within a week. My dream is that other people will see them and think "she looks fabulous" and they will go out buy them and will not look anywhere near as fab as I do.
Is that petty? :-)
Friday 28 February 2014
Dog naggers
We got a second dog recently. For the last 18 years we have been almost constantly a two dog household. The short times during which we where down to one dog was after the death of a dog, during the mourning period when we could face getting a replacement.
About the same time we got our dog, my niece was also in the process of finding her first dog with her husband. During our search for both our young dogs and during my nieces search I came across that strange creature.
THE DOG NAGGER.
We were unsure exactly what dog we wanted, except that there would be at least some Poodle in whatever we got. Not because of any desire for a "designer dog", just because I have had poodles in the past and I have always found them to be intelligent, have great enthusiasm for life, lovely non shedding coats, and no doggy smell. We now have a Groodle and a Labradoodle. Fantastic dogs that we dote on.
My niece wanted a boxer. No debate or indecision, Boxer it was, full stop. Of course in this world we go on-line to get all the information we can and to find the dog of our dreams. We also tend to FB about our plans and our progress. That's when they strike.
I read a post on a page from a woman asking if anyone could tell her about Labradoodles, are they good dogs, what sizes can you get? At least that's what I thought she was asking. Apparently it was a cunning code that I could not read asking how best to cook babies. She copped so much abuse! Why did she want to get some stupid designer dog? Why didn't she give a home to a dog from a shelter. On and on they went until thankfully someone actually gave her the information she wanted and she was able to leave the conversation.
It was the same for my niece. Why a Boxer? Why not a shelter? Aren't there enough unwanted dog in the world? Had she thought about it enough?
God, what is it with these people, can they not except that we may just not share their beliefs?
We did look at getting a dog from a shelter, none of the dogs we saw were the type of dogs we wanted. We wanted a young dog having lost two dogs in the past two years to old age, we wanted to try to have many years without being heartbroken again. We weren't looking for a fashion accessory, we just wanted something in particular that suits our lifestyle.
If you want to prevent unwanted dog, talk to the halfwits that don't have their dog neutered or spayed and allow them to produce the sort of dogs that end up in shelters.
Petition for pet shops to be stopped from selling puppies to random people on a whim, or selling puppies at all. When no longer a puppy and getting to handle, off to the shelter and get another one.
Fight to ban puppy farms that grind out dogs in appalling conditions to supply to pet shops.
There are people who get dogs from shelters who are not responsible owners either. It's not the holy grail of dog ownership. I do have friends who go for shelter dogs every time and they are great owners and they love my dogs and don't judge me for going to a breeder to get the dog of my choice.
What counts is that when you get a dog you get it because you have thought about it, considered your lifestyle, researched the best choices and you are in it for the dogs lifetime. As someone who has had three dog from puppy-hood to old age and loss and have lost others to accidents and relationships ending, I think I have the ability to make the right choice all by myself. I have never deserted a dog.
I've earned my stripes.
About the same time we got our dog, my niece was also in the process of finding her first dog with her husband. During our search for both our young dogs and during my nieces search I came across that strange creature.
THE DOG NAGGER.
We were unsure exactly what dog we wanted, except that there would be at least some Poodle in whatever we got. Not because of any desire for a "designer dog", just because I have had poodles in the past and I have always found them to be intelligent, have great enthusiasm for life, lovely non shedding coats, and no doggy smell. We now have a Groodle and a Labradoodle. Fantastic dogs that we dote on.
My niece wanted a boxer. No debate or indecision, Boxer it was, full stop. Of course in this world we go on-line to get all the information we can and to find the dog of our dreams. We also tend to FB about our plans and our progress. That's when they strike.
I read a post on a page from a woman asking if anyone could tell her about Labradoodles, are they good dogs, what sizes can you get? At least that's what I thought she was asking. Apparently it was a cunning code that I could not read asking how best to cook babies. She copped so much abuse! Why did she want to get some stupid designer dog? Why didn't she give a home to a dog from a shelter. On and on they went until thankfully someone actually gave her the information she wanted and she was able to leave the conversation.
It was the same for my niece. Why a Boxer? Why not a shelter? Aren't there enough unwanted dog in the world? Had she thought about it enough?
God, what is it with these people, can they not except that we may just not share their beliefs?
We did look at getting a dog from a shelter, none of the dogs we saw were the type of dogs we wanted. We wanted a young dog having lost two dogs in the past two years to old age, we wanted to try to have many years without being heartbroken again. We weren't looking for a fashion accessory, we just wanted something in particular that suits our lifestyle.
If you want to prevent unwanted dog, talk to the halfwits that don't have their dog neutered or spayed and allow them to produce the sort of dogs that end up in shelters.
Petition for pet shops to be stopped from selling puppies to random people on a whim, or selling puppies at all. When no longer a puppy and getting to handle, off to the shelter and get another one.
Fight to ban puppy farms that grind out dogs in appalling conditions to supply to pet shops.
There are people who get dogs from shelters who are not responsible owners either. It's not the holy grail of dog ownership. I do have friends who go for shelter dogs every time and they are great owners and they love my dogs and don't judge me for going to a breeder to get the dog of my choice.
What counts is that when you get a dog you get it because you have thought about it, considered your lifestyle, researched the best choices and you are in it for the dogs lifetime. As someone who has had three dog from puppy-hood to old age and loss and have lost others to accidents and relationships ending, I think I have the ability to make the right choice all by myself. I have never deserted a dog.
I've earned my stripes.
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