Friday 27 December 2013

That time of year.

I'm starting my New Year’s resolution early this year.

The overall theme this year is stop worrying about stuff that doesn't matter. 

Why do so many of us feel compelled to comment on media reports on celebrity behaviour & misbehaviour?

We tsk, tsk over Miley Cyrus showing of her bits, hammer licking, foam finger abuse and overall tacky behaviour.  Why bother?  We've seen it all before haven’t we?   What with Cher, Madonna, Brittany Spears, Christine Aguilera and countless other and often forgotten rising pop starlets.  The envelope has gone beyond pushed.  It’s torn to shreds.   It’s all about getting noticed and making headlines.  That is what media teaches budding artists and we go along happily encouraging the “whatever it takes” publicity machine by falling into the trap of noticing.

The females aren't the only ones.  Justin Bieber seems to thrive on publicity that makes him out to be a surly, spoilt little shit.  Well he is a nineteen year old male with more money than he can use and surrounded by mates egging him on.  Of course he is a little shit.  A very large proportion of males his age are little shits.  But why would we even bother to take notice of him if it wasn't endless reporting of his every move?

It’s not that I spend time obsessing over this crap, it’s just that I find myself behaving like the type of adults I despised when I was young, the ones shaking their heads at the “youth of today”.  Blahhh!  So I've decided to let it all wash over me.  Why should I find it worth my time to give any of this nonsense half a second of my time?

The next stage of my New Year’s resolution is to stop thinking I can persuade narrow minded people that…… well that they are narrow minded. 

Most of the people I know understand that their lifestyle and life choices are not the only valid ones.  They don’t find differences threatening, they see it as part of a world where we all have a right to be who or what we are, when being ourselves does no harm to anyone else.   Unfortunately I also have people in my life who can’t see much further than the tips of their eyelashes.   I have in the past tried to convince them that perhaps they may be unfairly judgemental of others and maybe they need to try walking a mile in their shoes.  Well, that’s just a waste of my time really.  What’s the saying?  “A person convinced against their will is still unconvinced”- or something like that.  Maybe in movies there can be a miraculous change of heart, when the bigot sees there error of their ways, in real life …………..Hah!

I've often  felt hurt by the comments of the narrow minded, given that I lead an unconventional lifestyle myself.  I don’t want the marriage and children thing and don’t want to make lots of money or try to advance my career, it’s just not me and I am happy with my life.  I don’t think that makes me better or worse than anyone.  Just different and the choice is mine.  Trying to explain that to the tiny minded just doesn't work, they see my justification of my life as an affront to theirs and they turn nasty.  So no more time will be spent on that losing battle.

So bottom line is, I will spend time only on what matters or what I can change.  No more tsk, tsk and no more “but can’t you see…………”  my energies are best directed elsewhere.


Saturday 5 October 2013

The peach look

I was standing in a checkout queue today and there was a woman and her teenage daughter in front of me.  I found myself looking at her bum (the mother's that is). Come on don't tell me you never look at bums! Bums, female bums in particular, can be a thing of beauty regardless of size.  I am a people watcher of many years experience and I don't just see bums as they look, I see potential and failed potential in how people dress them.

I have come to the conclusion that stretch material for pants, slacks, shorts or jeans must be stamped out. As an expert in this field I can say with complete confidence that unless you have a good round firm butt, stretch pants will flatten it completely.  I myself have a fair bit in buttock department and its is rounded nicely.  In a good pair of pants it looks  .......... well, pretty damn fine :-)  I have received comments to that affect.  I do however have a problem finding  pants that's fit well as I have a very small waist in contrast to it.  I saw a label on some pants in a shop that said they where specially made to flatter the ..... shall we say less than perfect derrière.  I pictured them fitting my bottom and giving it just the little lift it needs, I am past the 50 mark after all. 

No such luck. They were made of stretch material and all they did was give me a unibum, same as the woman mentioned at the beginning of my post.  BAD look.  Surely you understand what a unibum is?  It's a bum with ........ well, no crack really.  That is the secret of a nice toosh, the peach look.  Just a little hint of lift and separation. A little tuck between and under.  It gives definition and frames the seat beautifully.

I have a friend with a teeny tiny butt and it is also quite flat. I have another who is on the weighty side.  Both, like me, look so much better with something that fits around rather than squish the cheeks flat.   Come on designers!  Do you not get it!  Tighter is not always better and  this is more true with the bits that sag over time.  Just a light touch will do.  Like the peach, the female bum does not do well with too much pressure. Please treat them gently.

Friday 20 September 2013

Just a little crazy

There is a group of dog walkers around my area that I have got to know through the extreme friendliness of my young dog.  One of them is a very sweet woman who, in the time I have known her, has never said anything even remotely nasty about anyone.

I had not seen her for about a week and heard from others in the area that she had family visiting and was occupied with family stuff.  I ran into her last weekend with the couple staying with her.  She introduced them to me, quick hellos all around and we parted company.

I met up again with her during the week and after walking and talking for a while I started to think maybe she was possessed.  Gone was the sweet polite woman, replaced by a raving slightly crazed one.  She had apparently had a dreadful week putting up with the female half of the couple and was venting her frustration in a big way.

She was listing all the horrendous things she had to put up with.  Amongst the many sins were:-

  • The woman ate two biscuits with her tea one night
  • When they went for a walk the woman waved to some children in the window of a house, thereby invading their privacy
  • The woman was rude, lazy, untidy and for all I could tell may have been a mass murderer
By the time we parted company, which was sooner than usual, I was feeling a bit overwhelmed with the onslaught of venom I had just gone through.  What on earth was wrong with the woman.  Talk about an overreaction........ hold on, something there was familiar.  Ahhh, I remember!  

The irrational reaction to someone that for some reason you just loathe. Been there!

I seem to recall a woman I worked with who brought out these very symptoms in me.  Of course I was nowhere near as irrational.  I had genuine reasons to lose the plot about her.  After all she:-


  • Had a really annoying way of saying hello on the phone.  Three bloody syllables.  Hel lo oh.  God I hated it when she answered the phone
  • Would wear a scarf even when I wasn't feeling cold.  Obviously attention seeking.  "Ohhh, look at me I'm from Victoria where we wear scarves". Bloody attention seeking moron
  • Talked incessantly about her  boyfriend who was obviously an idiot.  He was going out with her, so must have been short on brain cells
  • Made my work mates think I was crazy just because I raved and ranted about her every gesture, every word out of her stupid mouth......... Obviously she hid her true nature from them.  I was the only one who could see her true colours!
Hmmm, well maybe there was slight over reaction, sometimes.  

So I will forgive my friend for her unusual behaviour.  I just hope she moves on or back to her old self soon.  At least I managed to get control of myself after the stupid woman was retrenched.  Only took me a year.

Tuesday 10 September 2013

Blogger is my new home after the demise of my old blog site.  For my first post I am recycling a poem I wrote for my old site.

After hearing of several suicides by people who were to all appearances happy, I wrote this poem of how they would think afterwards and the apologies they would need to make. 


TOO LATE
I really am so sorry
I think I made a mistake
I made a rash decision
and left misery in my wake

I really am so sorry
I didn't think it through
I only wanted to stop the pain
and didn't think of you

I really am so sorry
I think that I should say
none of this is your fault
I just couldn't see another way

I really am so sorry
I was meant to the the one who's strong
now I've left you to face it all
that just shows that I was wrong

I really am so sorry
Why did I not wait
until I'd talked to someone
and now it is too late

by: The lame poet